Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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