we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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