I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
