i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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