I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize