I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
All the doctor said was why
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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