i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
