Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
