Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
