i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do vagina's smell?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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