did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
