So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize