if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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