i think i have two assholes
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
