I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
