Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
