brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
