are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
