so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize