We're like a lot better than the average bears
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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