ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I deserve this hangover.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
