I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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