I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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