Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
