Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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