You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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