Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
sick fucks of a feather flock together
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So vagazzling was a success
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
