I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
