drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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