How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
