And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
