I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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