No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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