I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
