She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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