dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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