So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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