It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
