He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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