don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
