if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
