I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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