She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
