just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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