I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize