I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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