The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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