i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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