Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
