Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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