that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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