I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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