Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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