just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
