I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Too much gin, very little bucket
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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