Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize