so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She even gives head with a lisp.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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