tell your sister to shave her snatch
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
