Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
