His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
