When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
