I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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