i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We got so high we made milksteak
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
