Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
