ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
sex in a hospital.. check
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
